Mirror, mirror on the wall...

And now for a topic I was thinking about today while sitting on the toilet. Yes admit it, we all think while on the toilet; it is an alone time in which we all must be left to deal with the humanity of ourselves.

So while facing my own humanity, I thought about how different it is to approach a room like a bathroom at night instead of the day. For me this involved 3 distinct fazes;
1. The walk to the bathroom was in the dark. I don't care what you tell me, a walk in the dark is creepy - even more so in a place I am familiar with. It's the fact that the room through which I know exists during a time when no person is usually there but me. For me a walk down a familiar hallway is less comforting than my 3 am strolls down Sherbrooke from St. Laurent, through the ghetto. This is because no one is there. And so I must turn on the lights, it promises me that everything that should be there is there and nothing foreign is hiding in the cover of the night.
2. As a child I was always afraid of toilets. Mostly of when they flushed, I thought they would suck me in. That fear has stuck with me in some Pavlovian self conditioning. I still to this day get twitchy, most noticeably at night when it comes time to flush the toilet.
3. My biggest problem was always with the mirrors. Mirrors have tradtionally always held a mystical appeal. They have been suggested as portals to other dimensions, such as in Alice Through the Looking Glass; and have been suggested of the ability to show a true self. It was this reflection that I was and to this day am still afraid of at times. I fear that I will look into the mirror and not see the self that I wish me to be, but that person that I am consistently afraid of having become. This is amplified by the night, and the previous two factors that raise my blood pressure. Luckily for me and perhaps many of us no such mirror exists that can yet talk back and speak the truth of our natures. My only comfort is that with each fearful glance, there is still just me, the undefined staring back.

The moral of the story, don't buy a mirror unless you're ready to deal with your reflection. Or if you gotta go, you gotta face the demons of the midnight toilet.

Anyways, that's really it. This was just one of those things that regularly circulate through my head... Just thought I might as well let it out and give my mind a rest. The whole perception of reality thing always got to me anyways.

Night all...